HAGGIS day 2019 (January 25th)

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,

Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,

Just as ye sit doon among yer kin

There starts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas

Start working like a gentle breeze

But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face

Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae

a'body's gonnae hae tae pay

Even if ye try tae stifle

it's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair

Tae try tae stop the leakin' air

Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek

Pray tae god it disnae reek

But a' the efforts go asunder

Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder

Ricochets arrond the room

Michty me! a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks

A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks

Tae the bog a' better scurry

Whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me choakin'

One or two are nearly boakin'

I'll feel better for a while

Cannae help but raise a smile

It wis him! I shout and glower

Alas too late, he's just keeled ower

Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare

I'm no that welcome any mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free

That sounds jist the joab fir me

Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party

Ower the sake o' one wee farty.